Can't You See the Sparks Flying?!

I have mentioned before one of my nail clients, with whom I always have a laugh. It never feels like work to have her around. This post is for her! Last time she was around, we were talking about the blog and she was full of praise. I don't blush easily and she made me blush! It's so lovely to be getting feedback on something I put a lot of work into because I really enjoy it and I love that other people are enjoying it and learning from it.

Anyway, we were talking about the blog and I mentioned that I am absolute rubbish at thinking of blog titles. From then on, every random sentence became a blog title, including the title of this blog 'Can't you see the sparks flying?!' which she requested I use. All of this was amongst a fit of giggles and made me wonder why we don't hang out outside nail appointments.

Miss Nails and I have known each other since high school, united by a need to avoid weird art teachers at all costs. After school, when I moved to Australia for a couple of years, we lost touch. As always, Facebook reunited us, and we fell straight back into our old friendship. We never really hung out outside school, despite being quite close, I suppose because we have very different groups of friends and different interests. That doesn't change the fact that we have a blast together and have always got on like a house on fire.

Everyone has a friend they lose touch with or see rarely, but every time they catch up it's like no time has passed. I'm lucky to have Miss Nails in my life. She has an infectious laugh and a contagious positive attitude. I've never heard her complain, because everything that happens to her has a positive or funny twist. That's not because her life is a box of roses, more so that her outlook on it is.

You know who your Miss Nails is, the person (or people) that you fall into place with no matter how long its been. And I'm sure you have someone in your life whose infectious positivity is priceless to have around. Go and find them! I don't know about where you are, but its a beautiful day here*, and a really good excuse for a wine and a giggle!

Miss Nails, we need to get on with organising the same ;)

*Blog written and saved on a sunny day. Today is more like movies and popcorn!

"The Harder I Work, the Luckier I Get"

If you follow me on twitter, you'll know that I saw a sign on a truck the other morning that said "The harder I work, the luckier I get". I was riding pillion on the bike while we were on the way to work, which is about the last place you expect to get inspiration, but it really struck a chord with me.

There have been a few times throughout the process of planning our European Adventure that Courts has said 'Maybe we should have thought about this more'. Usually times when an unexpected expense has come up and the Euro budget is reshuffled and we have a wee panic about how we're going to catch up - one of many ways Europe is helping us learn more about each other before we even get there. How so? Well, Courts has a panic and thinks we should have thought it through more. I, on the other hand, go 'She'll be right!' and keep planning. I have a feeling that despite his dreams of metal based kinship in lands far away, if it was up to him and 'thinking about it', we would still be thinking in several years time.

Now, I'm not saying my way is the right one because Courts has his own way of doing things and he is extremely smart and has many big achievements behind him, that I for one am very proud of. Never mind that my way of doing things sure has caused some trouble over the years! To sum it up though, my approach tends to be - 1) Decide what I want and 2) Get It.

Which brings me back to the sign on the truck. It is a slight pet peeve of mine when people tell me how lucky I am. Mind if I share an example? Last year I met Slash, my idol and hero of many years, and spent time - real time - talking to him and his band in their dressing room (with quite a few others, don't get any ideas!).

When I tell the story, so many people say 'Oh my god you're so lucky!'. No, I am not lucky. I've barely won a dollar on a scratch and win in my life. But I did get up at 3am, fly to another country (Australia) with nothing but a handbag, check into a hostel, and go straight to the stage door of the venue. I was there within an hour and half of landing, at 10am, and I was there, in the rain and freezing cold, for the next 9 hours, until the doors opened and I made front row with a sign carefully prepared by myself and my friends, begging Slash to sign me so I could get the autograph tattooed.

I enjoyed every second of the concert and then once again I patiently waited by the stage door. Myself and some very lovely people I made friends with in the queue, had met Slash's guitar tech, Chet, during the day after he heard how long we had been waiting. Chet was kind enough to take us down to the dressing rooms after the show to meet Slash, and my dreams came true, with the tattoo to prove it. I got back to the hostel at 3am and after emailing everyone at home, I slept terribly for 2 hours (trying not to smudge the as-yet-un-tattooed permanent marker) and then was back on a flight in the early hours of the next morning, bound for home (well, Eastside Tattoo actually).

Yes I am bragging. Come on, it was the highlight of my life. BUT, people, my point is - meeting Slash was not luck, I made it happen, and had it not happened that day, I had tickets to see him again in New Zealand the following weekend with a very similar plan.

Meeting Slash is not the only time I have made my own luck. I moved to the Gold Coast in Australia when I was 17, straight from High School, on my own, for a boy (I came home 2 years later). I've travelled across the USA. I have two beautiful animals and some beautiful things (made less beautiful by the perils of flatting but that's a whole other post). I've sung on stage when no one knew I could sing. I've seen much of Aussie and of course I have tickets to see much of Europe. I have a good paying job, I have followed a great career path, and I have an awesome future ahead of me.

My friends have success stories too, amazing long term relationships and marriages, musical success, health and weight loss success, amazing travel stories. I often think 'Gosh they're so lucky' before I remember there is no luck involved.

Despite the downs that have accompanied the many highs of my life, if these are the highlights of almost-25 years then I have lived a pretty good life.

Of course, I have had help. People who drop me off at the airport, a Mum who chases down a lost passport the day before a flight, dear friends that let me practice for auditions with them and one in particular who inspired me to try in the first place. I also have a substantial personal loan, which follows me round in my daily thoughts and will be the guest of honour at a huge party celebrating its demise one day (probably not long before I get a mortgage, ha!).

Anyway, I admit my flaws when I recognise them. One of them being that I jump into everything feet first and leave the carefully-thinking-things-through part out till last. Poor old Courts has been on a roller coaster of learning, trying to deal with that personality flaw of mine. But, for myself at least, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I see people make excuses every day as to why they haven't reached a goal, why they've given up on something or why they can't have what someone else has. What a load of rubbish! "The harder I work, the luckier I get". If you want something, you can have it. Decide on it, set it in stone, and then make it happen. No excuses! Or at least if you do have a hurdle in your way - get over it.

Where Do You Draw The Line?

One of the reasons I have successfully stayed sugar-free this long is that I have a 'No' attitude when it comes to sugar. I don't make allowances for anything, no matter what. As I have said before, everything has sugar in it, including pretty much everything processed and everything flavoured. It's really, really hard to avoid, so I set myself a threshold of 3%, as in, I won't eat anything with more than 3% sugar.

I have heard of people recommending that if you're trying to improve your health you should aim for less than 10% sugar and 3% fat. I am not worried at all about fat content (maybe I will once I'm on top of sugar) since I am not trying to lose weight, just get on top of the closest thing to an addiction I've ever had. I chose the 3% threshold because I wanted to go as close to cold turkey as possible, and really kick this thing.

Just to clarify - the 3% threshold covers all processed food - food that comes with a Nutrition Panel on the back basically. Outside of processed/marked foods, I allow myself as much fruit as I want - its refined, nasty sugar that I'm opposed to, not the good stuff. I allow myself to use honey as a sweetener since it is not a refined processed sugar but I also try to use that as little as possible.

OK, so after all that, my darling Long Haired Boy did the grocery shopping on Thursday night while I was doing nails, and he came home with a treat for us (he decided this week that he was going sugar free as well, having seen his Dads weight loss results from doing the same). What he bought back was Fruju Fruit Whips, and in addition, I was handed a minor dilemma. Fruju Fruit Whips are 97% fruit, 99% fat free and 100% natural. Problem is, they are 15.7% sugar and most of that sugar content is from pineapple juice (this was in a Boysenberry flavoured Fruit Whip so I guess its for sweetness cause I definitely couldn't taste it) and added fructose.

The Fruit Whips break the 3% rule, by a long shot, but then so did the prunes I snacked on earlier, and I excused those because the sugar was all natural. The Fruit Whips have no refined sugar, but most people know that just because juice has no added sugar doesn't mean its good for you once the fibre of the fruit itself has been removed.

So where do I draw the line? I know 100% that my eating is way way better than it was last year. I fully intend to remain sugar free. Of the box of six Fruit Whips, I ate 2 - well, I ate half a one, then a whole one, then half a one, over 3 days.

I was so stoked when Courts brought them home. He checked the ingredients list and knew there was no refined sugar, he knew that because Fructose was far down the list there was little of it added, and he knew it fit all the rules. Something so simple yet so thoughtful, it really made my night that he thought of doing that for us. Now that they're gone - I'm actually relieved, which is a bit weird.

When I ate the whole one, I felt guilty, so guilty in fact, that it kind of wasn't worth eating it. I know that a lot of you will be thinking, why punish myself? Why stop myself eating foods I like and enjoy? Well, I know that I am making better choices now. I know I feel better, and that I am looking after myself. The thing is though, I've been sugar free before and every time Ive reverted back to my old ways. I don't want to let myself down again.

When I opened the freezer looking for food and saw the Fruit Whips box, I needed one. I didn't just think 'ooh that looks nice' - I almost couldn't stop myself from getting it. I could have, I know, but it was hard, and I justified that it was natural sugar and only 15%. I don't want to be controlled by the need for sugar, the calling from the vending machine, or the autopilot response to thirst of turning to Milo or coke.

I still have work to do on my eating habits - I hate water and drink little of it, and I haven't started to think about fats, although many of those were eliminated by the sugar-free factor. I can't focus on those things until I no longer have to focus on sugar. So, as much as i thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated my Fruit Whips treat, I'm back to a strict 3% threshold, until I am at a point where I can be strolling through France, see a Chocolate Croissant and make a conscious decision to either have it or not, rather than be drawn to it and feel a need for it.

What habits do you have that control you in some way? How do you avoid them? Do you try? And where do I draw the line?

Speaking Up

Ok, so this blog is about happiness and motivation and achieving goals and dreams. We're all cool with that right? But I dare say that either you haven't always had The Bliss, or maybe you've misplaced it only recently and you're reading this blog because it helps you get back on track. That would be pretty cool, if my blabbering helped you out like that. I've been there too, Blissless, from time to time, sometimes more Blissless than other times.

What I want to share with you is a Blog I have been following, which is selfless, generous and inspirational all at the same time.

If you or anyone close to you has ever suffered depression, or ever had suicidal thoughts, or even if you've just had a dark day, read Random Ramblings of a Stay at Home Mum. The author, Lori, is currently experiencing the hell that must be the aftermath of suicide. Her very much adored husband passed away about a month ago, and she has shared a huge amount of her ordeal through her blog.

If you would like to share her story, a good place to start is here, the beginning of the After. Use the 'Newer Post' link at the bottom of the page to move to the next post in the story. This is not an easy read. I only came across Lori's blog in the After, when I followed it from a link in another blog. I am so thankful that I found it though. I don't know Lori, and she doesn't know me. I am just one of hundreds, maybe thousands of people who have been let into her life and her innermost thoughts.

Lori's writing is raw. It is pain, and it is hope, and it is coping. She has somehow put into words that stomach grinding pain that we have all felt at some time or another, where I never thought words existed, and where there is nothing - nothing physical, nothing thought, nothing shared - but pain. Lori is so strong. She is Mum to two very small children, and I know there is so much more to her story and her daily life than what we have the privilege of knowing. I have left one comment on her page (I'm not much of a commenter), and I found it hard to sum up what I wanted to say. Lori comes across as extremely thankful for the support she has received from her community online and off. But I don't think she realises what a huge honour she has allowed us, and what an amazing resource she has gifted to people who are suffering from mental illness, or those that are close to them.

If, god forbid, I should ever have to cope with anything near as terrible as Lori, I will be a better, stronger and more capable person for having had the privilege of sharing her journey and her strength. It would be selfish of me to keep it to myself. Please know that this is probably a journey you want to read on your own, at a quiet time (with a glass of wine) and take in properly. I wish I had found Lori's blog in the Before, so that I knew more of her before this happened. I will most likely never meet her, but I am eternally thankful and I hope each and everyone of you can take something from Lori's writing. Through all that she has shared, I know someone will be stopped from experiencing the same, from either end.

Thank you Lori, though I would never wish the last month of your life on anyone, I am eternally grateful that you allow me to share it. More people need to be brave enough to speak up like you have.